Today has been a difficult day. I think I've had too much time to think, as due to feeling a bit tired from last night, I didn't keep myself busy as I have done for the past few weeks. I've just lazed around, eaten lots, and talked very little. I sat in the garden, just thinking, remembering what happened a week ago, I sat in front of the computer for ages, reading other peoples' blogs and miscarriage stories, and it all got to me. My daughter was out for the afternoon with my mum, so I couldn't even distract myself with her keeping me busy. My husband was watching the tennis final, so he wasn't really into communicating either.
So all in all, I've had much too much time to think, and it's upset me. I feel like going to bed and staying there tomorrow, and for the next week or so. I'm meant to be assisting with a nature toddler group tomorrow pm, but don't think I can face it. I've not told the leader what's happening yet, and I know I've got to, but don't want to have to.
I've been feeling like I miss my baby, and miss the happiness I felt with it growing inside me, looking forward to seeing them, and holding them, and feeding them, in just a few months time. I feel like I want to feel like that again, but not feeling like trying again. Just that I want things back the way they were, and for none of this to have ever happened.
I just don't know how to pick myself up at the moment. I'm eating too much, and dwelling on what's happened too much. I need to snap out of it. On a positive note though, I have had contact from some lovely women, who are experiencing similar things, and we're helping (I think) to support and understand what each other is going through. It's good to open up to people who truly understand.
Bed now, goodnight.xXx
So all in all, I've had much too much time to think, and it's upset me. I feel like going to bed and staying there tomorrow, and for the next week or so. I'm meant to be assisting with a nature toddler group tomorrow pm, but don't think I can face it. I've not told the leader what's happening yet, and I know I've got to, but don't want to have to.
I've been feeling like I miss my baby, and miss the happiness I felt with it growing inside me, looking forward to seeing them, and holding them, and feeding them, in just a few months time. I feel like I want to feel like that again, but not feeling like trying again. Just that I want things back the way they were, and for none of this to have ever happened.
I just don't know how to pick myself up at the moment. I'm eating too much, and dwelling on what's happened too much. I need to snap out of it. On a positive note though, I have had contact from some lovely women, who are experiencing similar things, and we're helping (I think) to support and understand what each other is going through. It's good to open up to people who truly understand.
Bed now, goodnight.xXx
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