Yesterday, I got to cuddle a lovely 6 week old baby called Katy. Her mum left her with me while she went to pick up Katy's brother from school. She was beautiful...soft, so happy, and hands feeling for new things to touch. I felt really warm and happy inside, holding her close to me, looking into her sleepy eyes. Bliss. There are now 5 baby's under 3 months old in my group of friends, so whether I'd like to or not, I can't avoid them! I think it's definitely easier to hold them, or even look at them than it was for me a month ago. I still feel an initial pain inside, and sigh a lot each time I first see them, but I'm not left feeling so sad anymore. Hoping I'm recovering.
I'm still keeping busy anyway! I've had such an extremely busy day today! Up early, took husband to work, daughter to ballet. Then to docs for repeat prescription of my iron pills, then parked the car and walked around most of the town, buying bits and pieces I wanted to get for either gifts, decorations or foods for Eid, then drove to another shop, got loads of extra bits, then home, unpacked, got lunch for my daughter, then out again to pick my husband up, then home, cleaning, hoovering, decorating, back to town to pick up a parcel, then home, more tidying up, then cooked, then finally, at 7.30 sat down for the first time all day! :-) Ahhh....that doesn't include all the extra little things I had to do either, like looking after the chooks (egg number 3 today, 58grams!), keeping my daughter happy, and trying to remember to eat and drink myself!
At least it's all done now though, and it looks nice :-) Loads of flowers and decorations, gifts wrapped, food in the fridge ready to cook tomorrow morning. Good to keep busy.
One thing missing though, is the presence of our friend T. I think of her lots, and this time of year is the most special for us to share together. Really miss her. A detective texted me earlier and said he'd try to call me tomorrow to update me on the case. Am hoping he'll have some good news, but more than likely it'll be the usual 'we're positive we'll have a breakthrough in the case soon'. They've been saying that since a week after she disappeared. I know cases can sometimes be solved years later, but I hope and pray that it won't be that long, for her family and friends, so she can be found, and we can all say goodbye.
So tomorrow will be a happy day, full of excitement for my daughter, and a little sad for me and my husband, missing T. She should be here with us, calling her family, chatting with her brothers and sisters, cooking beautiful Sumatran foods. Maybe she's with us in spirit.
I'm still keeping busy anyway! I've had such an extremely busy day today! Up early, took husband to work, daughter to ballet. Then to docs for repeat prescription of my iron pills, then parked the car and walked around most of the town, buying bits and pieces I wanted to get for either gifts, decorations or foods for Eid, then drove to another shop, got loads of extra bits, then home, unpacked, got lunch for my daughter, then out again to pick my husband up, then home, cleaning, hoovering, decorating, back to town to pick up a parcel, then home, more tidying up, then cooked, then finally, at 7.30 sat down for the first time all day! :-) Ahhh....that doesn't include all the extra little things I had to do either, like looking after the chooks (egg number 3 today, 58grams!), keeping my daughter happy, and trying to remember to eat and drink myself!
At least it's all done now though, and it looks nice :-) Loads of flowers and decorations, gifts wrapped, food in the fridge ready to cook tomorrow morning. Good to keep busy.
One thing missing though, is the presence of our friend T. I think of her lots, and this time of year is the most special for us to share together. Really miss her. A detective texted me earlier and said he'd try to call me tomorrow to update me on the case. Am hoping he'll have some good news, but more than likely it'll be the usual 'we're positive we'll have a breakthrough in the case soon'. They've been saying that since a week after she disappeared. I know cases can sometimes be solved years later, but I hope and pray that it won't be that long, for her family and friends, so she can be found, and we can all say goodbye.
So tomorrow will be a happy day, full of excitement for my daughter, and a little sad for me and my husband, missing T. She should be here with us, calling her family, chatting with her brothers and sisters, cooking beautiful Sumatran foods. Maybe she's with us in spirit.
2 comments:
Hi
Lovely to see you over at my blog. Nice to meet you :-)
We do seem to have a lot in common - I can add miscarriage to the list of things you mentioned on my blog.
The first baby I lost was around the fourteen week point. I think it is extra hard by that stage as the usual miscarriage worries are usually beginning to pass.
I think it's great that you are blogging about this sensitive subject. It happens to so many people yet very few people talk about it.
I'm thinking of you and wishing you the strength and courage to carry on and never give up hoping.
x
your post felt like something I could write. my cousin just had a baby. a preemie who is so adorable and cute. although, I don't feel sadness because my cousin is like my sister and it's her first child and all I have to do is remember how I used to french braid her hair when we were little and it's all I can do not to start sobbing.
I hope your friend is safe or at least not in pain. I cannot imagine going through that!
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