So I think it's started. I had a strong cramp low down earlier this morning, and was sure something was happening, but still nothing. Then this evening, taking the washing in, mild cramps came and with it the bleeding started. It's not heavy, so maybe it's just like spotting, and may have stopped again by the morning, but I think it's doing what it should at last. It's now been 6 weeks since our baby passed away, it's about time my body did what it should, so we can move on from this part of it all. Unlike some, I didn't choose the surgery to get it over with quickly, but if I still had no signs of miscarrying in a few weeks, then maybe I'd change my mind.
While tucking her up and kissing her goodnight, my daughter asked me "Will you still love me even when I have a little brother or sister?". All her questions and remarks now are when, not if. She knows this baby is leaving us, and is accepting, due to her age, but still thinks she'll get her little brother or sister soon. She has little concept of time really though, so I'm hoping another year or longer away will still make her happy. Although she may have decided it's nice just being the only one to get cuddles and love by then!
People who have just one child, but older, say to me "One's enough, don't you think?!". I just don't see it like that. Through all the troubles, stresses, hospital nights, creams, medicines, wake up's every hour for over two years, she's worth every second of effort, and if her brother or sister who's leaving us had needed more effort than her, I'd never regret bringing them into such a loving family. I do wish it could've been different.
(Listened online to Avril Lavigne's song 'slipped away' last night. It's touching.)
While tucking her up and kissing her goodnight, my daughter asked me "Will you still love me even when I have a little brother or sister?". All her questions and remarks now are when, not if. She knows this baby is leaving us, and is accepting, due to her age, but still thinks she'll get her little brother or sister soon. She has little concept of time really though, so I'm hoping another year or longer away will still make her happy. Although she may have decided it's nice just being the only one to get cuddles and love by then!
People who have just one child, but older, say to me "One's enough, don't you think?!". I just don't see it like that. Through all the troubles, stresses, hospital nights, creams, medicines, wake up's every hour for over two years, she's worth every second of effort, and if her brother or sister who's leaving us had needed more effort than her, I'd never regret bringing them into such a loving family. I do wish it could've been different.
(Listened online to Avril Lavigne's song 'slipped away' last night. It's touching.)
1 comment:
I am glad you found my blog. I guess we are going through the same thing. I haven't talked to a doctor yet, but I am considering mine a "missed miscarriage" as well. I did have lots of cramping, but there was no blood or any other symptoms, so now I am thinking maybe the cramping was just a stomach bug. And I am actually still having pregnancy symptoms. Weird, huh? I am also doing the waiting game. I don't want a D&C...I know too much about the risks. At the same time, I don't want to risk infection if my body doesn't eventually do what it should. But, like you, I plan to hold off on D&C as long as I can.
Anyway, this blog isn't about me, it's about you! I don't know why I decided to write so much about myself! I hope your journey through miscarriage is over soon, and I hope God blesses you with another pregnancy in his time! I'm glad I met you. Keep in touch.
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